The Beginning of a New Life [Warden][FIN]

[Zen]

Well this was humiliating. Sure, she’d wished to come to the Weyr because she wanted to get away from her father’s rule but this was something different. She ran her hands through her shaved hair with a look of almost utter disgust. There was no use telling them that she was not a Crackdust user just as there was no use telling them that she wasn’t going to do anything like run away. She had come here of her own will sharditall, and she had to wear these chaffing leather cuffs around her hands. Shouldn’t they have at least put the same cuffs across her legs?

Besides, the first time she tried Dust was the last. It was true what they said about horrible first times made the person never want to try something again. The first, and only, time she’d tried Dust was when she was in her father’s prison and a seller wanted her to try some ‘just for kicks.’ Being around eighteen at the time, she’d decided… why not? But the Dust hadn’t been pure or something and she’d thrown up the entire contents of her stomach. Needless to say, she would never have Dust again. Not that she could tell the guards that. They wouldn’t listen to her anyway.

They’d stuck her in this horrid red jumpsuit. It was an okay fit but was incredibly different from what she’d been wearing. Plus, it was this incredibly horrible shade of bright red that made her stick out like a sore thumb, especially in this dim atmosphere. They’d also sheared off all of her flowing blond hair, too, and the feel of having no hair across her fingertips just didn’t sit right with her. In fact, it felt downright disgusting. They hadn’t exactly cut it to be perfect; some patches were longer than others, and she felt her hair with all the longing of someone who’d lost something most dear.

Bailey, her Bronze firelizard, chirped and rubbed his head across her bear head. With a small laugh, she deciphered Bailey’s meaning behind the images he was sending her and knew that Bailey liked her more with long hair. He liked messing with it. Then his thoughts went to Zoë, Jayne, and Buck, and he trilled in sadness. It had been nearly three Turns, but even then Bailey had reminiscent thoughts about his siblings. They had had fun times together, and though some could swear that firelizards didn’t have feelings, from what Ever felt from Bailey, he certainly did have some sad feelings now and again.

Ever quickly drew her hand away from her hair, or lack of hair, and drew a finger down Bailey’s back. The orangey-bronze firelizard trilled and nuzzled deep into Ever’s neck. Ever was among a few other of Warden’s Weyr’s other inmates who had yet to be seen by the Warden. There were a lot of them, especially for so new a ‘Weyr,’ even if it really couldn’t be called such. There was no real queen, and mostly blues and greens. Not that she had much to do with that. They were here to guard her, not to be her friends. Speaking of not being friends, the Warden was supposed to be coming soon. Ever wondered who he’d pick next to talk to.

((This is set three Turns ago, when the Weyr first opened))

[nozomi]

Perhaps the very last thing in the world Warden wanted was to be faced with yet another criminal. A thief, female, she'd asked to come. That tidbit had caught his eye when her scroll passed his desk, enough for him to allow her to bring her flit to their first meeting. Good prisoners deserved something, maybe. They'd find out. Eventually. As it was, Warden let Ever to sit outside of his office for a good long while, the older man sitting heavy in his chair with wineskin in hand.

At least she wasn't like the serial killer, the one who just looked at him without words. The memory alone made the hair rise on the back of Warden's neck. Ugh.

He shook himself out of thoughts on the young man and abandoned the wineskin to a drawer, clicked it away from prying eyes. Messenger chirped from the back of Warden's chair, his small drape draped over the wooden whorls, chin propped up. Warden gave his tail a scritch.

"You behave. She has a bronze flit."

Messenger chirped again and simply leaned further. Yusuth rumbled from his own location, mild amusement for the flit powerful in both Messenger and Warden's head. The older man ignored it and instead walked out to come face to face with the newest prisoner.

Shards and Shells. So young.

He looked down at her from the doorway, gaze cold. Bald like all the others, red like them. No different. She'd asked to be there. He hadn't even really wanted to be there. Warden always could pick the last few prisoners outside of this Ever to speak with but - well-

He'd always been bad with curiousity.

"Ever." Warden crossed his arms over his chest, dark gaze narrowed. "Inside."

He stepped back inside, to his desk. Once inside, the door closed, Warden steepled his fingers together. He did not ask her to sit and, in fact, there was no chair for the young woman to do so. They were here for crimes, not vacation.

"How is it a Lord Holders daughter was not only convicted of thievery but requested a move to a pit prison where labor is expected and it won't be comfortable. Talk. Quickly. I don't care enough about you to wait."

[Zen]

Ever was a tactful person, a woman who knew when someone was doing something just to see how another someone’s character came out. These were interrogation tactics used by most of the prison guards at Fort Hold. Well, Ever wasn’t buying it, and any sadness, any fearfulness she might have otherwise showed, Ever showed nothing. In fact, she wasn’t sad or fearful anyway. She was one hundred percent happy because she had moved away from her father’s rule. Sure, she was still in prison, and sure, she’d likely work for the rest of her life, but it was nearly three hundred times better than having to live knowing her father could come in any time he wanted and kill her in her sleep. And she guessed that some time he probably would kill her in her sleep if she would have stayed there.

So, no, while her face held an almost perpetual sadness to it, the woman could do nothing to change that. But she was happy, perhaps happier than many of the inmates here. So when he, and by ‘he’ I mean the Warden, finally came and glared at her while his voice grated over her name, Ever felt elated. This was a step into the new unknown. Into the new.

The blond, or perhaps now the correct term would be bald woman nodded at him, stood, and followed him into the room. She instantly took in the surroundings and found that the Warden had supplied no chair for prisoners to sit in while he sat in his luxurious one. Another ploy to get the prisoners to think less highly of themselves. Ever scratched her bald head and stood before him, only slightly uncomfortable in her bright red suit, but feeling a whole lot better now than… oh, you get the picture… she’s away from her father, happy times.

The Warden was meant to be a scary man and Ever knew that without even having to know the rest of his personality. He was a slim man, too thin to have done any real work, but his entire presence felt as if he were bearing the entire world on his shoulders (sort of like Atlas, but no one on Pern knows about him). But in her mood, even his glaringly obvious glare could not put Ever down. Even Bailey seemed to pick up off of His’ mood and he chirped lightheartedly at the other Bronze.

He didn’t care enough about her. Another ploy to get people to splutter about crimes they did but didn’t own up to. And he wanted her to be quick. To explain why she was here. Shouldn’t those Records in front of him say enough about why she was here? “I will admit to all of the crimes of theft you have written in your Record book and can tell you exactly what crimes I have done; the first being when I was eight. I will not arrive with the false pretense that you love me and want the best for me, sir. I knew what I was doing when I stole just as I knew what I was doing when I requested to be here. If you must know, it was sort of cliché now that I think about it—me stealing just to get my father to recognize me.” Ever looked past the Warden for a moment even though her eyes stayed locked onto his… they gained a far off quality. She snapped back quickly. “As for requesting to be here, I’ve known labor, sometimes hard labor, for three Turns now and any hard labor is better than labor with the possibility of your father breathing down your back, even if you’re estranged from him. So, sir, you are wrong when you say ‘Lord Holder’s daughter,’ because, according to everyone and their mothers, I am no more than a street wench deserving of nothing. I am not Lady Ever, daughter of Lord Underwein. I am Ever, prisoner accused of theft and attempted theft. And I accept my punishment.”

She stopped then, and became acutely aware of Bailey’s trilling in her ear, as if he were comforting her. She didn’t need comfort. She had said everything with an honest voice and she had not withheld any information. She didn’t know if the Warden was the type to go ahead and randomly cull things, but she was fairly sure she’d spoken with enough conviction so that Bailey could survive another day, another sevenday, another month. She’d heard the rules. Going against them meant death. But what about speaking truthfully even if it did not sound like it? Would Bailey be culled just like her hair was shorn off? A new start in a new place?

It was strange, Ever thought in an offhanded way, how she worried more about her Bronze than she worried about her own wellbeing. She was not someone to go off and wrongfully do things. She had stolen from necessity, from want of a father figure. But she was ready to pay for her crimes, no matter what it took. So while others might have fidgeted during the first interview with the Warden, Ever remained strong and upright. While that might not mean much to him, it meant a lot to her. It meant that she was still herself.

[nozomi]

...

What?

For the first time in a very long time, Warden could not speak. He stared at the quick-talking little creature, eyebrows up near to his hairline, graying as it was. The older man blinked finally, slowly, silence filling the room once Ever stopped her chatter.

"You cannot escape your past," Warden plucked his little bronze from the chair, ignoring Messenger's chirp of protest. He scritched the base of the young dragons wings, eliciting a croon from him finally. "That's why people are here. Their pasts and living with them. While only the important members of this prison will know your birthright, the guards will not. They know crimes, gender, and names. The other prisoners will know only if you choose to tell them. I have no interest in gossip."

After all, Warden considered himself an important member of the prison. They had no gold to lead, no Weyrleader to bother with. Only him and like hells would he allow another near to his files.

"Since you've known hard work, I expect nothing less here. You'll get food and drink, a place to sleep, and the guards won't abuse you. They know what will happen if they use too much force on a prisoner on good behavior and I do not make idle threats. So keep in line and you keep your food, drink, roof, and your flit. I'm assuming he's the most important one of those four."

His lips twisted into a dour frown, eyes flicking towards her bald head. She did not seem to be a tweaking Duster (he longed for that wineskin, dearly) but - still. "Dust and alcohol are prohibited. If found with them, you will be put into solitary confinement and your lizard culled. Same goes for violence, an attempt of escape, or anything seen as too stupid to be given care of such a fine beast. Understood? Any questions?"

[Zen]

That’s right. No one could escape his or her past. It’s what made a human a human, quite literally. Firelizards escaped their past because they forget about an hour after something happens. Dragons do that, too, but they’re tethered to humans, whose past they certainly can’t forget. Which made Ever think, strangely, about what a hatchling’s mind would have to go through in that moment of Impression, all those memories it’d have to sift through, all the human emotions, all the pain and suffering mixed with complete happiness and bliss.

Gossip. That’s all those women did when Ever first came to the prison—Fort Hold’s prison that is. They’d gossiped and spread rumors and she’d hated it. She wanted nothing to do with that here.

Ever listened as politely as she could to the Warden when he outlined exactly what was to be given to her in the Weyr. It was a much nicer place than Fort Hold’s prison. She was still in prison, sure but this prison gave her more liberty. As long as she could keep Bailey she would be fine. And it seemed that she could keep Bailey, since she was not the sort of woman to go around banging her hands into every other deadbeat’s head. Or dealing Dust. Or stealing. What was there to steal here, anyway? Why would she want to steal here?

“You will find me with no Dust, sir, and I don’t do alcohol, though I wonder, would you serve klah, like, to prisoners on good behavior?” Ever asked. She liked klah as a wake-me-up, not necessarily as a ‘get drunk’ drink. She wondered if anyone could get drunk off of klah then realized that anything is possible. And she wouldn’t want to escape here. She’d serve out her time… if she had a sentence, or she’d stay here until the end of her life. It’d be a pretty boring life, but it’d be hers.

“I do have one… question of sorts. If we were caught, as prisoners, for a petty crime, how long are we incarcerated for? Or will we just stay in the Weyr as prisoners for life no matter what crime?”

[nozomi]

What a good question. Warden listened to Ever with the same polite calm he'd received from her, his small eyes hooded. Forever was such a long time. He understood; he felt just as trapped as she.

"I never bothered to ask," said Warden after a long moment. He sounded vaguely grumpy at the thought, and his upper lip curled. He shrugged, leaned back in his chair. "Quite frankly, it never occured to me that there was a chance at freedom for any of you. Would a Hold want a thief? How about a detoxed Duster? There is nothing to assure those in charge that the prisoners wouldn't return to old ways upon release."

Warden met her eyes and when he spoke, his voice was not unkind. "No one wants you. So until further notice, consider Warden's Weyr a permanent fixture in your life. Who knows?" He waved a hand. "Those bleeding hearts protesting this place may get some footing after all."

If they did, he'd force them to "rehabilitate" the crazy man with dead eyes; Warden tried not to shudder. Few got to him like the silent stare.

"Ãs for the klah, yes. I'll allow it - after the detoxification and probationary period. I'm sure you understand that I'm not at all prone to believing my prisoners when it comes to Dust." Warden could have smiled then, but did not. "Anything else, Ever?"

[Zen]

Ever nodded as the Warden spoke. He had confirmed her fears but had instilled a sense of (happiness?) an emotion she couldn’t truly tell right now in her. She supposed he was right. Ever was destined to stay at this Weyr, or in a prison somewhere, or Shunned and Hold- and Weyr-less for the rest of her life. Bailey nuzzled into her ear as she thought about these misgivings. There was no use complaining that she had stolen because of her father. It was cliché and the Warden had probably heard many stories just like hers; besides, he’d already heard it.

When the Warden fixated his eyes on her and told her no one wanted her, she felt the edges of her mouth twitch in a smile. No, that wasn’t true. Someone wanted her, and even if that someone was Bailey—even if she had to trick her mind into thinking that someone was Bailey—it meant she was wanted. The Warden would not scare her into being a subordinate being who lived to grovel and work (toil) in the fields and sleep in fear. Ever was done sleeping in fear.

With klah in her life, this life would be easier to handle. It made Ever feel happy (happier than she was) that she could have at least one old comfort (two if one counted Bailey). She giggled a bit and nodded, “I probably wouldn’t believe my prisoners, either, considering most of them have been Dusters. There’s even a few Dusters no one knows about,” Ever said, her tone becoming darker as she remembered her father on those rare occasions he hadn’t thought she was looking. He was very adept at keeping his addiction to a low, and no one suspected a thing. He was naturally grumpy, they say… but Ever knew.

Ever could have assured him that she was not a Duster, but then again, he’d said that he wasn’t going to believe her. He shouldn’t believe her. She was a prisoner, even if she had requested to be moved here. She bowed to him like she should have in the beginning but had forgotten and said, “No, sir, thank you for answering my questions. Should I leave now for the detox area or wait for a guard to come to take me?”

♪Oh happiness, there’s grace enough for us and the whole human race~♪

[nozomi]

Had Warden known Ever assumed he'd told her that no one wanted her in order to intimidate the new inmate, he'd probably be almost sad. Poor girl, assume the worst; he'd tried to be as gentle as possible with the brutal truth. Fearful inmates, quiet (and thus somewhat tempting to create), were boring and of little use. Oh, he never thought to control them - Warden had too many other things to bother with. Even when Warden meant well, he came off as abrupt.

Pity, that.

"In all honesty, most that have to do with Dust weren't the addicts. They tend to die before being arrested or pass during detox. Should you ever chose to do Dust, whether or not I need to tack 'again' onto that, just remember that it will kill you." Warden stroked his flit for a moment, Messenger chirping contentedly despite his Warden's mental images and emotions. Only a short time at Warden's had already tired the Warden to the conflicts. "I had a young man seizure the other day when I did the detoxification area rounds. He bit off his tongue and drowned."

Warden quieted and after a mental shrug, he looked back up to Ever. His expression had smoothed to the previous one of distance and boredom. "Take yourself back to the hall and the guards will come for you and the others I've spoken with today. Enjoy your stay, Ever."

[Zen]

Ever listened silently to what the Warden had to say about Dusting and found herself nodding in agreement. She’d seen a lot of prisoners just up and die in Fort Hold’s prison because they were too long without their spoils. It didn’t help that they became enraged, either—Ever had quickly learned not to help them in their final hours of grief and pain. And biting off one’s own tongue was something Ever had, unfortunately, seen too much.

She was pretty sure that one blood stain was still there, at Fort Hold. It would probably haunt her and was another one of those ‘negative influences’ that turned her away from even doing the drug in the first place. Ever saw the Warden’s face go flax and she knew her time with him was up. ‘Enjoy your stay, Ever.’ The Warden said as a final goodbye.

The bald-headed girl nodded and then bowed, lower than usual. “Thank you, Warden. I hope your remaining patients will be kind to you,” She said and then turned. Ever let loose a smile as she exited his room, and Bailey caught on and began to sing. Yes, this was home; even if it didn’t feel like it now, Ever knew that this was a home to her. Sure, she would work her butt off and probably strain muscles she never knew she’d had, but Ever knew that here was where her heart was. It had only taken her thievery to get to this point, but everything happens for a reason, right? Ever wouldn’t say it did, but in her heart she knew…

Patiently, listening to Bailey trill in her ear, Ever waited for the guard to take them to the Detox Area.